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08 November 2010

Hmmm....

So I am exercising a lot and yesterday we bought a treadmill... as much as i hate them i hate the cold more so during the week i can run inside and then i am hoping that one day on the weekend no matter what i can go for a cold outside run :)

anyways... i gained 2 pounds this week and I am going to blame that on muscle... I hope... lol... or it is just because I ate out a lot this weekend... and if that is the case give it a day or two and i will be back to normal :)

02 November 2010

Back to it

So...

1.  I am a lifetime member at weight watchers!

and

2. Me and that boy are working on things :) Some people may not think it is the best decision but it is what makes me happy and that is what is most important to me is to be happy!

Anyways...

I had a few months of delicious junk food filled goodness and realized once again how easy it is to get addicted to that stuff and you really really really need to work on moderation!  Good thing is over the last few months I have drifted between 150 and 155 so I am doing a good job at maintaining but now I am looking to get firmer and possibly lose a few more pounds :)

During those few months Tim Horton's breakfast was an almost daily occurrence and then I would eat at a restaurant for lunch or grab something quick but wasn't working on the healthy.  Then coming home to have supper with my family I would have huge portions and then snack later on! I had lots of peanut butter sanwhiches with waaaaaaaaayyyyyy too much peanut butter (yum! lol) and I do not know how I didn't gain 10 lbs over the last few months but I didn't and I am happy about that and it is time to get back to being healthy and happy!!

Nov 1/2010
155 Lbs
 Tracked all day, made healthy food choices and stayed within my points :)
Went for a run/walk with my mom :)
Went to my first fitness class at Level 10 fitness which was a Kettle-ball class and it was pretty sweet :)

I want to go hard for this month and see what my results turn out to be :)

I need to keep on track because I want to get my bellybutton pierced and I want to be able to head to the beach in a bikini next summer and feel totally comfortable in it :)

04 October 2010

CIBC Run for the Cure

33 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ran it in 33 mins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so uber happy about it!!!!

Also my dad took some pictures and I look sooooooooooooooooooooo small... lol... I can't believe I am this size!!!!!!!


Ahhhh... Just in a good mood for once!!!! :D

Dec 2009 (approx 200lbs) - Oct 2010 (approx. 150lbs)
Me right after the run!!

PS I tried on the dress I am wearing in the first picture and it falls right off me now lol

20 September 2010

Somedays it makes me sick

Somedays it makes me sick
to think about all the shit
you gave up when you ran away
because you were too scared to stay

if you could have looked into my eyes
and told me what you decided to hide
and trusted me like you said you did
we could have had a chance kid!

Moved back into my room finally!!! still getting stuff into there but I have my bed and my room back :) and awesome fuzzy carpet! I went for a run yesterday (in the wind and cold) and I am going for one again after work today.  I am looking into taking a class with the running room to train for the half-marathon I plan to run in May and depending on how that goes I hope to do a full-marathon in fall.

I have to maintain my weight for 3 more weeks then I am a lifetime member at weight watchers :)
I still plan on losing some more but I am just working on maintaining at the moment while I am trying to get my life figured out! which is a challenge in itself!

I have few people out there who are actually trying to help me through this but I guess having a few is better than having none.  Its like most people think I should be over it already but those people must have never had their heart broken... the hurt and the pain doesn't go away over night... It hasn't even calmed down a bit but I have learned not to cry all the time but it still gets to me everyday...

I try not to talk to other people about it because it seems that no one really wants to hear it or be supportive... everyone just says whatever you'll get over it or stop thinking about it or something along those lines... I just wish that the people who I try to talk to about this would actually give me the time of day... I know no one wants to talk to that sad depressing girl so I am trying to pretend and act like im fine so people will want to spend time with me so that I don't get more sad and more depressed. Ugh, I dunno, random babbles again... lol


Anyways I am still maintaining my weight and running and eating healthy and a few people I know are thinking about joining Weight Watchers so maybe I can help someone else through it! :)

http://lost-love-broken.blogspot.com/

17 September 2010

Cause you just, did the impossible, gained my trust Don't play games it'll be dangerous if you fuck me over

For the most part things are pretty good right now... I am doing everything I was going to do with him in my life anyways... It more just sucks that I don't have that connection with someone and don't have that person to share my daily thoughts and feelings and talk about my day with... It sucks that I can see all the bad and all the hurt that happened to me throughout the relationship but I still love him with all my heart... they say if you love someone you accept all the bad with all the good which is what I seem to have done but why?  Why did/do I allow myself to get hurt over and over... why did I let him have complete control over me?  I wish I knew the answer...

I let him hurt me more than I ever wanted to be hurt... I let him do things that are unacceptable in a relationship and I know this but yet I still don't hate him... I still miss him... I still love him... I don't know if I should be happy or sad about that.  Should I be happy that I can love someone so much that I will try and do whatever it takes and that I will try and work through all the bad with that person.  He couldn't emotionally commit to me 100% he needed to flirt and hit on other girls and we couldn't be in a healthy happy relationship if he couldn't commit to me 100%.

I was talking to someone the other day and we kind of came to the conclusion that we either needed to take a step in our relationship or end it... and I was trying to take a step of moving in together so we could know if we could live together before we even talked about marriage or kids or anything like that... he thought the next step was marriage and wasn't ready for that I guess... I don't know its like we missed the boat.  It is like when you are teaching a child to speak or have empathy, you need to get it at a certain time or it just never fully develops... we were long overdue for that next step and I was willing and ready and willing to wait till we could get our finances figured out and I guess he wasn't willing to wait till he was done school...

I dunno... we were right there... everything we wanted was in reach and he just couldn't... I dunno... I guess the timing wasn't right, the circumstances weren't right... I had accepted that and was willing to wait till they were... but I guess he needed something now :( it is unfortunate that we didn't discuss this and didn't communicate... I knew our communication was an issue and I tried to talk about that many times... but the fact that he wasn't willing should have told me something right then and there but I just ignored it... Ignorance truly is bliss I guess...

anyways I had a totally intended to write about something else and all this just came out... oh boy... lol

16 September 2010

It's amazing how you make your face just like a wall, how you take your heart and turn it off, how I turn my head and lose it all

Matchbox twenty is my very best friend right now :) Such good music...

anyways had an alright week i guess lol... i am doing a lot better on tracking this week which is good and i plan on having a relaxing weekend to get organized for next week and make a plan to get all my exercise in and eat right!!!!

bowled tonight... started off pretty good but did so bad on my last game...

I'm still stressed and sad about all that is going on in my life... I dunno how to get my frustrations out :( it sucks... blegh...

12 September 2010

and it begins

so at the moment I am super duper busy with life and got to figure out a way to fit my exercise in so it is no so sporatic... it will be a little easy since i live at home and my parents do most of the cooking but if i lived on my own right now i think subway would be my very best friend!!!

i haven't pick a new Weight Watchers date yet but I am thinking Monday nights...

my busyness includes a bowling league that plays once a week but it could be any day from tues-fri.
another bowling league that is thursday night
cadets - wednesday night and some weekends!
Coaching little kids bowling saturday mornings
possibly pipe band sunday afternoons...

the only thing that is hard is too get off work then go work out and have time to eat and get ready for whatever is happening that night... so i need to figure out if mornings work or see if i can fit it in after work... i am not sure... weekends are fine, i have spare time to work out... it is just during the week that will be interesting lol...

I am doing alright right now... just maintaining where I am and looking into new fitness routines to tone up my flabby spots... lol... and if i still lose some weight that will be sweet but if not i am okay with that too... :)

also my car was 1 yr old on Sept 10 and i got rear ended on the 9th... not much damage though... you can barely tell I got hit... lol

06 September 2010

he'll never know how much I miss him...

So Thursday I flew out to BC to visit my family out there... My parents are out there for a while visiting my grandparents and this weekend was a long weekend so I went out there for a few days to visit and to just get away from here...

Last week was pretty good... i was busy tues and wed then left thurs and was busy while i was away so i didn't have much time to miss him or be sad...

This week things should be just the same...
Monday - Flew home/cleaned/unpacked
Tuesday - Work then get some stuff ready for bowling and cadets
Wednesday - Work then Cadets
Thursday - Work then Bowling
Friday - Work then bowling then maybe going out :)
Saturday - Coach kids bowling then who knows what
Sunday - Relax? I bought a book the other day maybe I can read it :)

Then off to the next week... and on and on and on... lol

Weight watchers on Saturday was BAD BAD BAD... i have not been tracking and it was just bad... I am going back to tracking and running and getting my shit back together... It is hard when your whole life collapses...

Anyway when I was in BC we went to a psychic and i didn't get too much of a reading because she got super excited that I am psychic... but she did say that i should go into law or psycology or both... which are both things I have thought about... lol... and there was a box of tarot cards sitting there and you just grab one and see what is says... My mom grabbed one and it said relocation which is funny because she wants to move to BC and i grabbed one and it said collapse of structure which is true because of this whole break up... so it was crazy... 

but anyways off to finish my day and get on with my week :)

31 August 2010

Oh Boy

What a stressful night last night turned out to be.

According to another person I am taking over their life because I am continuing to do the things we did together every weekend.  I understand he is upset and that this is a difficult time for the both of us but I shouldn't have to feel bad for trying to go out and have fun with people.  Whoever I choose to go out with shouldn't matter to anyone else but me unless it causes me to get into trouble.  My life has dramatically changed so I might do things I didn't do before or see people who I didn't see before in a effort to get out there and socialize and not sit at home and cry but for some reason that is an issue.  I am sad because he is sad but I am also happy that I can go out without him and have fun and have a good night.  He made the choice to move away so I don't know... I am not trying to take over his life... We spent every day/night/weekend together and spent time with the same people so it was my life too.  I was there every second of it and just because they were his friends first doesn't mean he owns them and that I am not allowed to be friends with them... Ugh... I don't want him to be sad but I am not going to not go out and have fun.

and this is what hurts the most is that because I spent some time with these people he is saying that it means I don't care about him and am doing just fine.  I am doing better now then I was when this all went down but I am not fine.  I still think about him all the time.  I still miss him every second of everyday.

All I am trying to do is things that make me happy.  I don't know what makes me happy anymore so I am going to go hang out with anyone who is willing and I am going to have fun and I don't know I am trying to not just sit at home every night I thought that was a good plan...

On another note I have been eating :)
I didn't run yesterday because of rain but I am going today :)
I am trying to be happy :)
And when I weighed in on Saturday I set that as my goal (just because I am so stressed right now) and am now working on my 6 weeks of maintenance (or loss). :)

29 August 2010

Step One?

Today was my birthday... Today was rough... I cried a lot today :(

Anyway I went out last night with some friends and had a really good time :) Stayed at the bar till close which I have never done before but I had a great, fun night.  Walked home from the bar and I live maybe 20 min away and we left the bar around 2:30 or 3:00 and didn't make it to my house till around 4:15.  But it was a good night and that is all that matters!! :)

'He' did contact me today to wish me a happy birthday which I was happy about but it all still hurts.

But I need to get my life back in order or at least start trying to.  I keep wanting to and I just don't. I really really want to continue my running because I was looking forward to possibly running a half and a full marathon next year... It is a little hard to get back into that as we started it together and we both have the same goals with it and I want us both to succeed at it but it is another thing that reminds me of him... I don't know I enjoyed running and I think even though it will remind me of him I will feel better but it is still so hard.

Cadets starts up this week and bowling (which I am iffy about) starts the week after so I am having a few things to get me out and about... I am hoping to go for a run tomorrow after work and get back to doing that everyday... I think for a little while I should only go every second day and work up my endurance again then go daily...

But here are my goals for this week
1. Go running
2. Eat properly
3. Drink lots of water so I am not dehydrated anymore
4. Try to keep busy after work

The only thing that might cause me trouble is that I am still having trouble sleeping and I still cry myself to sleep daily but I seem to be getting a better at not thinking for long enough to fall asleep but at the moment it takes around 1 - 2 hours to fall asleep... ugh... which makes it hard to get up in the morning... But I am hoping that things will start getting easier this month and that my sleep might start getting better... I haven't had a good sleep since this all happened and sleep affects your mood and appetite for the next day...  Anyways enough of my rambling, I am going to look at my goals daily and see if the helps me get through!!

27 August 2010

Just another day

Friday... ugh... I don't know if I should be happy or sad... I am happy and I am sad... It is the weekend, my birthday weekend... and all I really want is to spend it with him... He was (is?) my best friend and I still wish even though we are not together that he could be here to celebrate my birthday with me... I unno... I don't think he would want to drive 2.5hrs just to see me for my birthday...

Ugh... this just all sucks... I know logically that we can't be together right now and that we both have some soul searching and figuring out to do on our own but that doesn't make my heart stop hurting... it doesn't make me want him any less... it doesn't make me miss him any less... I still want him with me... I still want to come home and talk to him and tell him how my day was and have supper with him and spend my nights with him like we did before... I dunno... it is hard not to want that... everyday I come home and expect to see his little yellow truck sitting in the driveway and everyday as I approach my house and see it's not there I get sad again...

I don't know what I am hoping for.. I don't know what I should be thinking or doing... all i think about is how much this sucks and that I hope that someday in the future we can talk and make things work again... I don't know if thinking that stuff is good or bad... That is all I really want at the moment...

I am happy that I am getting back into somethings that I stopped doing when I was with him and that I am finding myself again but I am still sad because I still wish I could share those things with him and still see him and still be with him... I miss talking and playing crib and his little truck and watching movies and going shopping and walks in the park and more and more and more... I just don't know...

23 August 2010

I am still here

I am still making it through the days... found out that he moved on pretty damn fast :( we were together for almost 5 years and now he is seeing someone else.... it hurts so much that he said he still cared about me but then invited some other girl into his bed... ugh... I have since cut off all contact with him which breaks my heart but I know it needed to be done...
this is the worst thing I have ever gone through in my entire life!!!! I would never ever wish this hurt or pain on anyone... except maybe him at the moment... I could deal with the break up but why does he need to make it even worse :( fuck you think you know someone... you think your going to have a life with someone then poof they just one day stop giving a fuck about you... he acted like everything was fine and that he wanted to be with me up until the day before we broke up... even after we broke up he told me how much he cared and how he would still be there for me if I needed someone... I guess that was bullshit...
I have kinda slacked off on weight watchers for right now, I don't have an appitite at all so I am trying to just get food into me when I do eat... I havn't been working out as I am always light-headed and not feeling good due to the lack of food/water going into my body... i sleep all the time... i can't get up in the morning... I keep trying to get my life back on track but it is hard...
my days feel incomplete without talking to him... I break down at least once a day or more... suppertime and bed time are the worst as I would have supper with him everyday day and get a hug and kiss goodnight almost every night... its hard to not want that or miss that... and he obviously doesn't miss it from me as he is most likely getting it from someone else...
ahhhhh... this whole situation just sucks soooooooooooo much... i am just so worn out over this... I am just exhausted every day... and it is so hard to get through each day :( I feel like he is tainting the relationship we had and making me feel like he faked so much of it :(  I want to look back on our memories and be happy that we had them... but the way he just disregarded my feelings and his feelings and jumped into something else makes those memories so hard to look back on...

I didn't want us to be a bad memory but now I am worried that is all the last 5 years will be :(

15 August 2010

ugh

this sucks so much...
one minute I am happy the next I am in tears... I don't know what to do or what to think... I am just so hurt that the person who I thought was the love of my life could just walk away just like that... he just up and moved to another city...
ahhhhh!!!! i know I am overanalyzing this and that it is only going to make things harder... I am an analytical person... I need answers I need reasons... I dunno, I guess I got some answers like why he left but I just can't believe he wouldn't talk to me about anything... about how he felt... that is what kills me... I am trying not to think about it... not to let it stress me out but it is hard... he was the world to me...

someone said 'why does HE determine YOUR happiness?'
well he doesn't really... I am happy for the most part... The only thing I am sad about is him leaving... he didn't define me he didn't make or break my day... he did make me happier... I enjoyed talking to him... spending time with him... getting advice from him... but he didn't determine if a day was a good day or not..

I don't know... I just miss him and I don't really have any people here to talk to about it so I guess I am posting it on the internet for anyone to see... lol...

I miss him

06 August 2010

Tales of a Broken Heart

How does someone tell you they love you, think of you as family, and care so much about you and in the same sentence tell you they are leaving... and leaving you...

I don't think it matters how many questions I asked or how many answers I get I don't think I can wrap my head around this.  He says he needs space.  Needs time to figure things out on his own.  I can understand that as much as it hurts I can understand that... but... there is always a but... how do you consider someone family and just leave them... no discussion... no fight... no notice...

he did everything he ever could for me... sometimes I didn't get to see him as much as I wanted and that sucks but he always tried to make up for it... things were good... I thought...

I couldn't read his mind... I knew he was upset... I asked if it was because of me... there was your chance to talk to work on this to let me know... instead you just say it's work, it's money, it's this, it's that... how was I suppose to know that things were bothering you when you didn't open your mouth...

I know you don't like confrontation... so you just avoid everything and solve it by running away... I understand things are scary and... and... I don't know...

My world had crumbled around me... I am just numb... I can make it through most of the day... but as the time to leave work draws near it starts to hurt... I start to fear coming home and knowing that you won't be there... coming home knowing that you won't share the stories of your day... coming home knowing I won't see you again... hear you... feel you... smile, laugh, sing, play... all of these things that I looked forward to everyday...

I don't want to go home, I don't want to stay at work, I don't want to go out, I don't want to sleep... something somewhere, everywhere reminds me... a song, a movie, a tv show, a restaurant, a conversation, a quote...

Why did I think I was special enough to not get a broken heart... I thought I was lucky and found a good guy who would be there for me forever...

He says things like I just need to think... need to figure stuff out... so am I suppose to take that as hope for a future or not... I don't know where you stand... I don't know what you need to think about...

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and maybe ever will...

I just got to keep waking up... keep going through my day... keep trying to keep going...

Got to try and take things day by day and see how things go...
I know what I want and I know what I pray for but I know I can't make up his mind for him...

23 July 2010

:'(

a 4.5 year relationship is over... thats all i have to say right now :(

20 July 2010

oh boy

I have not been on here for a long time... been busy busy busy! I have been updating my weigh-in's and they are pretty good...  I injured my knee at my bowling tournament :( it has been hurting for over 2 weeks and i went to the walk-in clinic on Saturday and the stupid doc there said that i just have to wait a few weeks but the pain is just getting worse and worse I have not ran since right after i got back from sudbury... I am getting so upset that I can't go running - walking for more than a few minutes hurts, as done sleeping, and sitting and everything!!! I dont know what to do... the doctor said to take advil and stuff like that but it does not help at all so im just getting upset about it... i dont know what to do... boooo... i think i might try the ATM at the gym (i think it stands for all terrain machine) because i dont jolt or lock my knees like i do on the eliptical... but that means working out inside and i LOVE running outside... stupid stupid knee... i dunno, i guess i am just rambling lol

Anyways i am 4.8 lbs from being in my weigh range!!!! yay!!!! I am so happy i dont know what to do with myself... i know i have more than 4.8 lbs to lose but i am almost at a healthy weight which should make it easier to get healthier!!  yay!! :D

03 July 2010

we are in third

as of right now sask teaching ladies are in 3rd place... maybe we can bring it up tomorrow... i am having fun but my throat is soooooooo sore from cheering on my team... oh boy... lol... anyways here is a website if you want to check it out!!!

http://www.mbano.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=59&Itemid=74

28 June 2010

away i go

i am off to nationals in Sudbury tomorrow... i have to be at the airport at 5am... boooooo who's idea was that lol... just thought i'd update real quick... hopefully i can let everyone know how my trip is going :)

24 June 2010

basement has flooded :(

so i get home from work and i am sitting in my room playing on the computer and i hear water... i go look in our back room and there is water everywhere... i called my dad and we started using a shop vac to suck up the water... we also have a shower in the basement and the water was coming up into the shower... so we had the shower door closed but the water was just too much... 3/4 of our basement got wet and me and my little brother and I have our rooms in the basement so tomorrow we have to get boxes and start packing up what we can in our rooms... is wasn't too bad i guess... it was just deep in the bathroom and the backroom and underneath the carpet in the rest of the basement... some spots here and there puddled and my amazing clinton was here helping all night and making sure everything was alright!!!

apparently our back flow valve got a chunk of wood stuck in it so it let all the water into our house instead of stopping it from coming in :(

i leave on tuesday for sudbury so i wont be able to help my family but im sure once i get back there will still be stuff to do... i just hope everything works out fine!!!

23 June 2010

Weight Watchers 5km

Today was the WW 5km walk-it event... and it went pretty good... me and my mom went and I got a t-shirt so the girl at the running room took a few pictures of me because i was the only person to wear it on the walk... its bright yellow and a nice shirt!!! the walk took a different route then im used to but it was a nice route and very pretty!!

At the walk my old WW leader was there so we asked her what happened to her and that we have been checking other meetings because we liked her so much and she told us that she quit with working at weight watchers :(  i was very sad, we are still going to meetings but i miss her... it was fun to go with her as the leader and now it is like a chore :(  The girl who leads the one i am going to right now is alright... i guess i just got used to my original leader but she always made you feel good and she was still calm and down to earth and just overall awesome!! the one i am seeing right now is very bubbly, which is good for some people, just not my type of thing but im still going still getting the info, and she isn't so bad... i guess the leaders kinda grown on you... im sure once i get used to her ways that everything will be fine again :)

anyways for some reason i didnt eat very much today and had 9 pts left at the end of the day (i start with 23) not even adding in my activity points yet so i decided to go get an ice cream (because i have been craving it!!) from this little shop here that has amazing ice cream... i got one scoop of mint chip and one scoop of cookies and cream! yummy!! it was very very sweet i was having a hard time finishing the thing... i think next time i will get a small!!!

anyways how is everyone else doing out there? do you give into your cravings if you have them for a few days or do you wait a little longer to see if they go away? if they aren't going away how do you deal with them?

20 June 2010

Shopping was a bust

so i went shopping yesterday ans went to i dunno how many stores and tried on lots of pants and didn't find anything that i even slightly liked :( it was very upsetting and made the next few hours actually suck!!!

so i was sitting at home and i remembered we have a box here of old clothes and such that we are going to take to value village and i knew the clothes that i was giving away were smaller sizes! so i went and looked through those clothes and found 2 pairs of jeans that fit!!! I was soooooo happy!!!! and I didnt have to go buy anything :) one pair is like a foot too long so im going to have to get it hemmed so i can wear them but i can still wear them around the house!!

so fathers day... oh boy... went out with Clinton's dad for fathers day and he wanted to go to the buffet he goes to every weekend for brunch... I am actually pretty proud of myself!! I had some fruit, eggs, only one breakfast sausage (i love those things),  a small pancake with some syrup and then a salad :) and i didn't feel disgustingly full when i left which was the best part!!!

then clinton and i went for a run this afternoon and then for supper had mannicotti for supper (bascially a big noodle with crab and spinach in it! yum yum!) and a little bit of garlic toast!  it was delicious... i thought today was going to be rough because of the buffet but it turned out to be really good... I some happy the buffet didnt kick my ass!!

19 June 2010

:)

Down another 2 pounds this week... yay! this running thing is pretty awesome!  it helps a lot with losing weight! I am now 11 (actually 10.8) lbs away from being in my weight watchers weight range... it seems like it is sooooo much farther than that and things are getting harder and harder but i noticed even if i had a rough week but i still ran everyday i still seem to be down 2lbs :)

anyways today i am going to buy some smaller jeans!! =D the ones i bought a month or two ago are falling off so i need some new ones... i might buy some shorts as well... nice girl shorts that I have never ever worn before.. .and a new swimsuit for when i go to sudbury for the bowling tournament!


 :) going for a run later! 

xoxo

15 June 2010

So Sore

My calf muscles are killing me... ahhhhh.... lol... and I am kinda in a frumpy mood and just feel like pigging out and being lazy all while at the same time I want to work harder and find better foods to eat... lol... tomorrow will be day three of the Jillian Michales shred... I wont make it to day 30 as me and my mom are doing it together and i go away to my bowling tourny in less than 30 days!

anyways... my mind is all over the place today so sorry if I randomly jump from one topic to the next lol

my mom read or heard somewhere that you should eat the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch... I couldnt do that forever because I get sick of things pretty quick but I think I am going to try to eat the same thing for B and L for a week (work week lol) then switch it up to something different for the next week... we will see... i seem to be hungry all the time so i need to make some better food choices as i have been eating 2pt snacks but they dont fill me up so it seems like a waste of 2 points because 10 min later I am looking for something else to eat... oh boy!!

This is getting harder and harder :( but i will keep pushing because it isn't an option to fail! I can have a bad week but that doesn't mean I failed it just means I need to keep going and keep working...

another rambling, I hate when people are like 'oh you look good; i wish i could lose weight!' i just think -uh wtf? you can!- I just say to them 'yea it is hard, i really watch what I eat and exercise almost everyday'  there response after that is usually oh i dont have the time... i dont usually say anything after that...

BUT people need to realize that you need to make time... im sure you watch tv some times or play on the computer or lounge in the sun... thats your time... you need to fit it in because your health is too important to forget about!! thats when you get sick and injured and feel like crap and that is the stuff that you DONT have time for...
you have a family? get them involved! you work odd hours? go before work/after find a gym that is 24hr! people just love to find excuses and reasons not to take responsibility, its your body you are the ONLY ONE responsible... ahhhh...

anyways I am hoping this week starts to get better and i don't feel so overwhelmed by working on my health... its almost the TOM so i think that is partially why I want to eat everything i see... lol... so be strong for a few days then it will pass =) lol 

13 June 2010

Day Trip

So today I went with Clinton to his friends 'flip' house to help him work on it.  It was over an hour drive away and we ate good while we were there and worked hard... okay clinton worked hard, i relaxed and read a book =) lol...

when we got home my mom had made a delicious roast!!! yum yum!!! then after supper my mom, dad, brother, clinton and I all went to the park to 'exercise'
Clinton and I ran on the roads that surrounded the park and ended up running approx. 6km!!!  6km.  wow!!! that was awesome it took 42min and it was a good run and i felt great after.  going to continue running after work everyday and then on Saturday Clinton and i are going to try running from his house to his work which is approx. 8km... i think i can make it!!! i would like to run a 5km race and 10km race this summer =) then next summer move on to bigger goals!!!

anyways need to go to bed as it is over 10:30pm and I am going to try to get up at 6am (oh no!) and work on the Jillian Michales 30 day shred!! with all this exercising I hope I start sleeping better!!!! 

12 June 2010

Saturday

Today was my first saturday morning weigh in... i was down 2.2lbs which is good... i remember being so excited to get under 180 and now im under 170 and it doesn't even feel real! as much as I have wanted to lose weight i think in the back of my mind I never ever thought it would happen... and i think i sabotage myself some days because of that... im so excited and happy that i am losing weight but at the same time it just doesn't seem real... I kinda had an off week last week and didn't care too much and didn't track that much but there were lots of times that i could have indulged but didn't so that shows that some of my personal habits are changing :)

it still feels like a dream or like the scale is just tricking me and I am still 200lbs.. when does it finally kick in that this is real, that i am really doing this?!

anyways i should go for a run since i skipped it yesterday :P and so I don't feel like i am sabotaging myself :P

11 June 2010

So I found a picture of me from march 2009 at the bar... probably around 195lbs or more.  So I ran around the house and put on that outfit to see how it looks now and I think it looks a lot better... right now I am around 170lbs and still working on it.  just thought I would share the progress of how things are going.

When I started this is Jan 2010 I was 202lbs so i am well on my way! :)

Rain Rain Go Away!!!!!!

it has been raining here for soooooo loooooong  :(
it is really putting a damper on my running.  so i didnt weigh in on Tuesday because i decided to move to a saturday morning meeting and my first one will be tomorrow and im 100% sure i will be under 170... i was so excited to get under 180 that this will be awesome... and as a reward I plan on dying my hair this weekend :)

i dont really have much to talk about today im in a really bad mood :( and it is raining surprise surprise... but it should be nice out this weekend so i can get some running in :)

02 June 2010

:(

I could NOT sleep last night... i was so bad... i didnt fall asleep till after 2am... i was supposed to get up at 630 to get ready for work and i didnt wake up until 7:42am... I work at 8:00am... i just ran outta the house and drove to work... i made a PB&J sandwich so that i had something to eat and grabbed a smart ones meal so i could have some lunch!!  at lunch i walked over to sobey's and got some fruit and veggies to snack on in the afternoon... but it was a rough day because i was so tired... running after work was a bit tough but i pushed through and made it... no more long breaks from running!!! it is so hard to get going again... i hope one day this 4 - 5km gets easier so i can think about running a 10k... that is my next goal once 5km gets easy... i got a long way to go

also according to ww i have to lose 16lbs to be in my weight range but I dont think I am going to look 'healthy' at that weight... i will still have to keep working hard and get down... my personal goal i think is between 140 - 145... i will have to see how i look and feel at that point and decide what to do from there :)

01 June 2010

ooooo

so i didnt run on thursday or friday... i only ran 3km on saturday and then i didnt run on sunday or monday...
i did go today and it was tough... lol... i am never going to take that many days off of working out again... no more being a slacker lol... anyways, see my last post about an awesome mini blizzard!!
I weighed in today and i only have 16lbs to lose before i am in my height weight range!!! holy shit!!! 
I want to lose 26lbs to be where i think i want to be... eeeeee its so exciting... anyways i should try and go to sleep because i want to try and get up early and run in the morning instead of after work... it didnt happen monday or tuesday lol so i guess i gotta keep trying...

p.s. i got my nails done on the weekend and it is a little hard to type and i even got super short nails... lol... oh well they look sweet :)

yay!

photomap

MINI BLIZZARD!!!! so tiny... it looks bigger in the picture than it does in real life!

29 May 2010

uh-oh

today is saturday... i havnt gone for a run since wednesday...

oh well... i haven't been feeling so great the last few days so i guess it is probably good.  It is so gross and rainy out... i want to go for a run in the park but it is pouring rain and i don't want to go run on a treadmill in the gym... i just want to run outside... anyways... Clinton is away for the weekend helping a friend and my parents are going to the same city in a few hours for an awesome concert blegh... i had to stay behind because i have a bowling practice tonight because i am going to nationals in exactly a month from today... i am trying to kill time till the practice tonight but i don't know what to do because it is icky out... what a boring day!!

26 May 2010

Another Day

Went for a run again today after work... I think I gotta look up some stretches for my legs and maybe take a day off here and there from running because after about 1 min of running my legs are sore and i just keep pushing through it for the next 30 - 40 min... but I am still going which is pretty sweet... I am still no impressed and amazed that I can run for more than a minute I never thought I could ever do that... I always wished but I never thought I could! 

Anyways we also had a ball game tonight and we won by 1 point!!! yay... this team was last place all year last year and never won a game so for us to win one is exciting... I also made a double play... I caught a ball that came right to 2nd base getting the batter out and then tagged the base to get the person out who left 2nd base... :)

25 May 2010

Almost there!!!

Ahhhh... weighed in today and i was down 2.2lbs... I am sooooo close to my Weight Watchers 10%... in reality i have lost 14% because I lost 11lbs before I joined ww...

I have still been running my but off... i thought it would help me lose weight faster but that doesnt seem to be the case... I unno... I am still doing down down down so that is what really matters!!! i have lost 28lbs so far... on my own and with ww... and i have about 28 to go... so i guess I am halfway to my goal... I just realized that!!!!!!  that is so exciting!!!! that means I am on the downhill stretch :D yay!!! i planned on getting to my goal weight in October... I have lost 28 in approx 4 months... and 4 more months puts me in September which means I should be ahead of schedule AND I might get in a bikini beach day this summer!!!!! which would be the first time ever in my life that I could wear a bikini!!!! & I am looking forward to it!!!  I guess I just gotta keep going and keep running my 5km a day :D

24 May 2010

Long Weekend

This weekend was alright... pretty windy on sunday and a tree branch fell on clinton's house and they had to work sunday afternoon and this morning to get that tree outta their yard...

Im still running running running... ah it is pretty sweet, Im so glad that I can finally run... I have been working on it for so long... over the last few years i have tried exercising here and there but didnt stay consistant.... this spring I was pretty consistant and now i can run for at least 5km... its cool... its tough running but I am so proud of myself for being able to do it and keep going...

Tomorrow is my weigh in and I hope it goes good... I have to find my balance with all this running because I seem to be maintaining instead of losing, hopefully tomorrow my weigh in is down and then I don't have to worry and just keep doing what I have been doing...

It kinda sux that I don't have anyone to go to weight watchers with or go running with... my mom was doing ww with me but she decided she wants to weigh in on Saturday mornings... I would like to too but then in the fall I would have to switch back to a week night and I think it would just be easier to keep things the same... for running me and clinton used to go to the gym together but he is going at lunch now (which i did at my old job and i loved it!! so I understand) and I only have a half hour break at this new job so I dont have time to go work out so I go for a run after work... on the weekends though we usually go to the gym or for a run in the park,,, clinton likes going to the gym because he runs way faster than me and if we go to the gym he can push himself while I push myself... if we go to the park he just pushes me, which i guess is good because maybe we could get to the same pace and run faster together!!! :) hmmm... I might have to bring that up.... lol... anyways I need a good sleep so I can have a good weigh in tomorrow... night!!

22 May 2010

Yay!!!

Yesterday after work I was feeling good so I ran the whole 4km around the park and then an extra km... so I made 5km in under 40 min!!!! I was so good :D

this morning we went to the gym to go for a run (because it is poring rain) and I ran 5km again but I ran on the treadmill and ive decided that I like running in the park rather than on the treadmill... lol... but i weighed myself this morning an I was at 171lbs!!!! it was so exciting... I don't weigh in till tuesday so if I keep going at this pace i could lose 5lbs this week which would be my best weight loss for a week (except for when i had mono and lost 11lbs)

bah, I am bored right now and don't know what to do :(  before weight watchers when I was bored I would usually go eat lol... right now i would be having a peanut butter sandwich with tons of peanut butter and maybe some chips and a huge glass of milk... lol... no portion control and no healthy choices... lol.... anyways clinton is out working on his truck and  yea... im just bored lol... guess i should go look for something to do :)

20 May 2010

WTF

lol... so I weighed in on tuesday night and didn't move... stayed exactly the same... WTF? lol... i worked out super hard and hardly used my activity or weekly points but it didnt move at all... i was eating mostly good food but sometimes I had treats but oh well... so far since tuesday I have lost 2lbs so I am guessing this week will go good...

still running around the park lol... it is hard but it is getting easier... i am running about 3.6km in total and walking .4km in the middle somewhere... I am hoping to get to run the whole 4km around the park and have that be pretty easy... then work on going farther, so I am going to have to keep running past my car then walk back... maybe on the weekends I can ride my bike to the park go for a run and ride back... hmmm... i'd have to get a bike... i was using my little brothers because it was a sweet bike and he took it outta the shed one night and left it in the 8ft fenced backyard and some kids walked in our one gate took the bikes (there was an old one there too) and walked out the back gate... booooo....  silly kids... anyways oh yea, i am finally sleeping a little better... I am feeling more rested!!! i used to sleep no mater how short or how long i was exhausted... but the last 3 days i have felt good!!! I have had sleeping problems for a few years so we will have to see if this keeps going... if it starts going bad again i will have to see the doctor asap instead of just ignoring it... but all in all I am feeling good!

my regular meeting leader hasnt been there the last two weeks and it is bringing me down :( I hope she is there next week... if not i am going to go back to the monday night meetings and see if she is still at that one... I like her and I dont like the two sub's that have been there... but we will see next week :)

16 May 2010

oooohhhhh

my tummy is not happy with me... I ate way way way too much food today... bleh... I feel like poo...  I have been running running running though and I am starting to really really like it... even though it is super hard i am hoping that next summer I can do a half marathon and by the next year do a full marathon and maybe join Joints in Motion and go on one of there trips to go do a marathon somewhere else... I cant wait to be able to do that... it seems so exciting!!!! 

12 May 2010

hmmmm

So as of last night at weight watchers i have lost 15.2lbs... altogether since January i have lost over 26lbs... i don't feel as if i have lost that much... i can see it a little and can definitely tell since a lot of my pants are falling off lol but other than that i really really don't see it at all... it seems weird and unbelievable but i can see it every time i jump on that scale... i dunno... right now I am working on cardio cardio cardio :) its getting pretty good.   I am running right now for 25mins at 8.0km/h which is pretty good i think... lol... i started at 5 min at a time and added 5 min every week... 25 min is pretty tough so i think next week instead of jumping 5 min i will only go up 2 min a week till i am running the whole 45 min... i hope to run the whole 5k this october and next year i want to do a triatholon and a half marathon then then in 2012 i hope to do a full-marathon... ahhh... i am scared but i hope by then i can do it!!!  anyways off to get some sleep or at least try, i have been having trouble sleeping so i hope i can tonight!

10 May 2010

boo

the weather has been shit shit shit here... it sucks... i found a softball team to play on and we were supposed to have our first game tonight but it got canceled because the diamond was a big puddle... boo...

ahhh... i really wanted to right but all the sudden i am just tired... i hate how this happens... i should plan things better so that i can't write a bunch and not be sleepy...  I am trying to find a place to move out to as i am still in my parents basement but that is proving difficult... but if i could plan more for myself and such if i was out on my own... but I need to watch where i move to as twice a section in my city has been called the worst neighborhood in Canada as per mcleans magazine (or however you spell it) which kinda seems odd because i know that its not a great area but i didn't think it was that bad that the whole nation needed to know...   i have also heard stories about people moving to this city into that neighborhood not knowing and having bad things happen... i believe that there are good people who live there and people who don't have any problems there but I am a scaredy cat and wouldn't want to be in a rough neighborhood on my own... boo... oh well... i guess i will just keep an eye out for something that looks good...

i am also scared to move out... i like my room here but i need some more space... I am trying to fit so much into my room and it doesnt work so well... lol... anyways it is bed time!!!

05 May 2010

What a day!!

1. i slept in so i was running late for work so I didn't plan food for the day but I did stay on plan.
2. Broke a key at work
3. Had another machine not work properly on me today
4. went to the gym but for some reason only booked the treadmill for 30min instead of 45 so i didnt get my whole run in :(

ahhh... but i guess other than that the day was fine.  I should try and go to bed right now as I couldnt sleep last night and that is why i slept in this morning.

Also these next two weeks I have to work sooooo hard because I want to hit my 10% at the same time i hit my 16 weeks... lol... its going to be tough!!!!

01 May 2010

off to the gym i go?

it was suppose to snow last night :( I could hear rain while I was laying in bed last night but I haven't looked to check if there is snow on the ground....

Clinton is off at his buddy's house installing a clutch all day I dunno what to do with myself... I am going to head to the gym at some point... and then I don't know what else to do... usually i help clinton on a car or we go shopping... we used to coach kids bowling saturday mornings but that is done till sept. 

i heard that you can go to the mineral spa in the next city over (like a 30-35min drive) for $7 which is sweet but i would want someone to go with and right now the 'friends' that i do have never ever want to do anything... im not really sure how much they're my friends anymore... and the people who do want to hang out are all boys and I dont think the boys would want to come to the spa with me... lol

ahhh... i dunno... im just going to lay in bed and watch youtube for a little bit longer then off to the gym!!!

p.s. i figured out how to change the treadmill to kilometers!!! :)

29 April 2010

busy busy busy

I started a new job on the 19th and have been busy all day and all night... work then gym then supper by the time im done supper it is bed time!! ahhhh.... i should be in bed right now but I wanted to update this since I havent in almost 2 weeks....

I am working on cardio right now... at this point I am running for 10min then a 5 min walk then 10 more minutes then i walk for 15 at a high incline... i think i should buy something that monitors my heart rate because the treadmill always says im in the peak high zone but i dont really think I am so I need something to better monitor my HR... anyways I am under 180!!! :) I am very happy and am trying to keep going... i am just having these fast food urges that I cant get outta my head.... I want...
pizza
mcdonalds double cheeseburger
wendy's burger
tim hortons sausage breakfast sandwich
KFC popcorn chicken
and anything that is covered in cheese!!!

lol... ahhh... I can dream can't I :)

18 April 2010

Feeling Good!

Friday I didn't hit the gym but I'm still feeling good :) 

We went to see Kick-Ass that night and it was very funny.  A little different than I expected but it was still very good... some very surprising moments lol

Saturday I didn't go to the gym either but I was out and about and I was shopping for some clothes... I bought a smaller size that I didn't think I could ever fit into so that was so exciting!! :)

Today clinton and I went for a run around the park here and it was good... clinton pushed me to go a little harder and I did... Im glad I did I feel good... Now just relaxing for the rest of the day because I start my new job tomorrow!!! :D

15 April 2010

from bad to good

This morning was all sorts of bad... I forgot to set my alarm last night so this morning I woke up and wondered why my alarm hasn't gone off... then I look over at the clock and it is 7:18am... shit!!!

So I rush to get ready... there is no good food in our house so I stopped and got some food for breaky on my way to work... I got a breakfast burrito from mcdonalds... only 7pts... and I am still on plan for the day so it wasn't a huge mistake and I guess you need a treat once and a while... and I do love those breakfast burritos!! :)

Anyways, I assume because of the rushed morning and high fat breakfast I wasn't feeling so energetic at lunch.  I was debating if i should work through lunch or go to the gym... I didn't want to work but that is how much I didn't want to go to the gym... But I made up my mind and went... I said I was going to everyday this week and I had an unhealthy breakfast so I should probably go so I did...  I did better today then I had been doing all week!

I did 45min on the elliptical and it was alright... I think it helped that there was a 'Last 10 Pounds Boot Camp' marathon on so I could watch something that made me forget I was on the elliptical.  Now I feel awesome! I also didn't bring a lunch (but I did bring some snacks) so I bought a Soup at Hand from the vending machine, my favourite soup, and it is only 1pt... 1 pt yay!!! That helps me keep on plan today even better... I hope this week pays off at my next weigh in... i can be 179.9 and be happy that is all I am asking for :)

Now to finish work, 2nd last day!! :) and then off to bowling tonight... and I am in a great mood now, nothing can bring me down! :D

14 April 2010

Butt-Kick Day three

Today at lunch I did about 35 - 40 min of cardio and then after work I went to a class at the gym... I want to write lots but I am very tired and just want to go to bed... booo...

I havnt been having good sleeps lately so I am so exhausted :( I should probably stop watching TV in bed or something... I dunno... Guess I gotta try again tonight :) :P

13 April 2010

& the butt-kick continues

So I weighed in today and I was done 1.6lbs :)

i need to lose 0.7 more pounds to get under 180!!!

this weekend I dont have any plans to go out for food or have and food activities this weekend so my next weigh in should be amazing!!!!

Today I didn't do my butt-kick so much... i tried to do some cardio at lunch but i just wasnt feeling good... i had major heartburn and it was making it difficult to exercise... I also didn't go for my walk tonight because it was pouring rain all day and afterwork...

I hope that I am feeling better tomorrow... I can do some cardio at lunch again tomorrow and there is a class afterwork at the feildhouse then my awesome boyfriend will be making me some supper while I am working out...

oh yea, i also put on this tight pair of dress pants that I couldnt get on before i started weight watchers and they fit!!! I have a little tummy pouch but i have that all the time so it has nothing to do with the pants.  I am pretty excited...

So if i get under 180 it will be the lowest i have been in a while... I got myself down to 180 a few times but I can't seem to get under it on my own so I hope tracking and exercise will get me there... ahh im so excited :)

12 April 2010

Butt-Kick

I am having a Butt-Kick week this week.  I am going to work-out a ton this week and eat way better as the last few weekends I have gone completely overboard in junk food and alcohol! But I had fun... Fun time is now over... lol

Today I did 40min of Cardio on my lunch break at work and today after work I am going to the Power Circuit class at the fieldhouse. I also am not going to go over my daily points!

Tomorrow I plan on doing Carido again at lunch time then for a walk around the park before my weigh in tomorrow.

Wednesday there will be cardio on my lunch break and the power circuit class after work.

Thursday again Cardio at lunch then I bowl thursday night.  I am going to try and stay standing for most of the night instead of sitting on my butt!

Friday is my last day at work so we might be going out for lunch (Oh No! lol) if not I will hit the gym again.  Friday night me and clinton might go for a walk around the park.

Saturday I will go to the class at the fieldhouse again and maybe if it is nice out me and Clinton can get our bikes out and go for a ride.

Sunday not sure, I should probably give myself a break for at least one day although I am sure that I will be cleaning or doing something that day that will get me moving for at least a little while...

Good thing is there are no Banquets or food events this weekend so I can hopefully stay on plan this weekend and not go overboard like the last few becuase on the 24th I have a banquet (Buffet) and on May 7th I have a banquet (another buffet) and then no more!!!

I hate buffets!!! I always eat too much and feel like crap after.  I have been getting better at not overeating though so I guess these next two banquets will help me keep practicing that!! :)

11 April 2010

Saturday Gym

Yesterday I went and took a class at the gym and today I am so sore... lol... my abs and my thighs are killing me!!  But it is good I guess :P

We also went out to the bar last night with some friends and I don't think we have done that since last summer but it was fun... Probably drank a little more than I should have but I had fun and danced and that is what matters... I will have to have a good intense workout tomorrow and tuesday before my weigh in... i wanted to go to the gym today but I am very sore... maybe me and clinton can go for a walk tonight or I can use the eliptical that we have here at home...  we will have to see what happens... we have a bowling wind up tonight for the little kids that we coached for the year :)

08 April 2010

no good title

we got a temp at work that I am training because I am done on the 16th... I am a little sad to be going because I think it is a good company but I am not happy there... I got offered a new job that I start on the 19th.

My current job I just do accounts payable for several locations throughout western canada.  The new job has me doing A/P, A/R, Payroll and a few other jobs... I am very excited to learn payroll because it is something I have always been interested in :)

Tonight I went bowling and got a 185, a 227, and a 140 or 150... i can't remember lol...

This weekend I mightbe helping Clinton build a sub box for his friend which I am excited for because I liked wood work in high school.  I also want to make banana bread or banana muffins this weekend... I have wanted to for a few weeks and just havn't got around to it... soon though i hope... lol

anyways im glad its almost the weekend :) gym tomorrow and saturday and then hopefully some car fun :)

Night

06 April 2010

Weigh In

Up 0.6 which is nothing! lol

I am going to a fitness class tomorrow, bowling on thursday, gym on friday, class on saturday, aybe gym on sunday, then class on monday... this week should be awesome!!!

I have also noticed that when I have everyday planned out like this my weeks seem to go by faster!! :)

Right now I am watching Biggest Loser and laughing at Melissa... I feel a little bad for her but she is kind of a bitch to everyone else so she kind of deserves it... and of course Bob has one of his 'commercials' in it... lol

05 April 2010

boo-urns

I don't think tomorrows weigh in is going to go so well :(
BAH!! Bad weekend for clinton's birthday and I had a horrible horrible sleep last night so I had the munchies today :( and tomorrow is my weigh in... booooo... oh well, it is just one week... things will hopefully be back on track tomorrow... but I am so sleepy and should go to bed since i only had likr 4 hours of sleep last night... :( today was just an icky day

04 April 2010

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Thursday night was bowling night and we needed a spare so my dad came and bowled with us.  He beat me by 11 points in the first game, then I beat him by 11 points in the second game and then in the third game I did pretty good and got a 216 and he only had a 175 so I won for the night :) lol

I also got offered a new job on thursday and I accepted it.  I havn't been too happy at my current job.  It is a good job but I'm not happy so it's not right for me.  This new job gives me more exeperience in the stuff I want experience in so I hope it is a good change for me.

Friday we went to see 'She's out of my league' and it is very very funny... we laughed a lot during the movie. 

Saturday we had clintons birthday party at my house and everyone seemed to have lots of fun and I made Taco Dip and everyone loved it and ate it all up.  I didnt calulate the points on it though so I didn't have too much but we also went to red lobster for supper and I had a few drinks last night so not sure what my Tuesday weigh in is going to bring... lol

I also went to a gym class yesterday and my arms are pretty sore... not sure if im going to get to go today or not... I like taking classes at the gym more than just going on my own and they have a good variety but this weekend they dont have much going on... and I have to bowl monday night so I wont get to go monday either.  They have a 6am class on monday's but not this monday because of easter but I still work monday so I can't go during the day where they moved the classes too...

Today I am just relaxing at the moment... going to have supper with clintons family for his birthday...  Pizza and Ice Cream Cake... we are also making a salad so that I can eat a little healthier :)  Clintons birthday isnt until monday but we are busy monday and it is just easier to do it today.

31 March 2010

Pink

ooops... i went for a tan today and i am a little pink from it... lol

anyways went to see the trainer today and learned a few more exercises to do...
OMG on my tuesday weigh in I lost 3.2 lbs!!!! so exciting!!! I hit my 5% goal... and clinton is doing so good as well he just went home and tried on some old smaller pants and they are too big for him... im so happy for him :)

I also put on a pair of pants today that i couldnt do up before and now they fit :)  Yay!! can't wait for a few months up the road when I can go shopping for smaller sizes!!!

But I am sleepy and should go to bed... Friday is a holiday!!! :) Yay and clintons bday is this weekend!!! :)

I am in a pretty good mood right now! Things are going good!

28 March 2010

bah

So I practiced bowling on saturday morning and did so good... my regular lanes are synthetic lanes and the other places that I bowl are wood lanes and my ball doesnt move there like I am used too so I bowled crappy today...  Clinton thinks we should bowl a spring league at a different set of lanes so that I can practice and figure out how to make my ball work on different lanes so that no matter what the lanes are like at nationals I can bowl good :)

other than that on saturday we went shopping because I found this awesome hotpink computer that I want but no one seems to be able to get it for me :( I could just order it online so I will wait and see... it is a pretty new one somaybe in a while it will be easier to get at stores :)

Today we went to the gym and for some reason my heart rate was exteremly high and I wasnt pushing any harder than usual; but i have been fighting a cold for a few days which might have something to do with it :S

anyway i was going to the gym at 6am tomorrow but my leg muscle is still hurting and this week i have to bowl Monday, Tuesday and Friday so i dont want to have my leg still hurting... i dunno maybe i will go in the morning... i still havn't decided... blah...

my weigh in is normally tuesday so if i end up bowling on tuesday i will have to go to a wednesday weigh in or figure something out... im getting sick of being busy :P

25 March 2010

ahhh....

Well last night I watched resident evil because I really really like those movies but then I have zombie dreams all night and then I'm scared to get outta bed... lol... what a weiner I am...

anyways I have ben sore all week from my cardio combo class i took and monday and didn't stretch before I went bowling today which I should have because I pulled a muscle in my leg and it hurt so bad to bowl...  but i worked through it and got my best game ever!!!!  a 283... i got 1 strike a right spare 2 strikes a left spare 3 strikes and then in the 9th I punch a head pin and it all went downhill from there... lol... oh well... maybe next time :)
I was sooooo close to a 300!!!! that would have been so exciting...

anyway off to work tomorrow then gym... then bowling practice on saturday morning... and then bowling tourament on sunday!!  A cash tournament so I hope it goes good so I can win some money!! :)

anyways I am off to watch vampire diaries :P

23 March 2010

oops

Up one pound... oh well... not a big deal... could be a number of reasons and this week will go good and it will be gone again :)
I worked out hard yesterday and I feel great and I dont care if i it doesnt come off super fast as long as i am feeling better and my muscles are sore everything is good :)

22 March 2010

Weekend

So I made the team!!!!  I'm excited and scared all at the same time because I'm a weiner :P
I am heading out to Sudbury at the end of June...

We were stuck in Saskatoon Sunday night because Clinton's truck was having some issues so we got back in the city around 2pm today and I went to work for a few hours and then tonight I went to the gym and their was a class that started @ 6:45 so I decided to join it... it was a cardio class and it was pretty good! I had lots of fun in it. I think I am going to go to the gym later on Monday's so i can keep taking this class for a while :)
Tomorrow is my weigh in :( I am a little worried as I kinda ate some bad food this weeked.. oops... I guess it's got to happen sometimes... lol... I can just keep it going after this... All I gotta do is keep working out and go back to watching what im eating :)

17 March 2010

busy day

today was a busy busy day at work... and it is just going to continue the rest of the week...
Tonight clinton, colt and I went out for supper to mongolie grill and it was so delicious :) mmmmm... then me and clinton met my mom at the gym and worked out... I had a pretty good work out I think... I just kept pushing harder and today it seemed at lot easier then before which is a good thing I think...
My mom and I went on this thing called Espresso Bike and it has a little screen where you can ride different tracks and it is like your actually riding somehwere... I did a 20min basic ride today but my butt was numb by the end... then I did step ups then running then step ups then bikng then step up then running and biking... then went running again... I don't think I could have possibly done that 3 weeks ago :)
I got to keep working had this week so I can make my 5% on tuesday!!! 

16 March 2010

Weighed In

DOWN 1.4LBS THIS WEEK!!!!  YAY... I have 1.8 to go to make it to my 5% Im so excited... I am going to work so hard this week to lose it so that I can make it for next weeks weigh in.... Im just so happy... It's not a lot but at the begining I was only losing 0.4 or 0.6 lbs and it was so dissapointing so losing more that a pound for the last three weeks is so amazing to me!!! 
Tomorrow I'm going out for supper to a build your own stirfry place so I can choose lots and lots of veggies :) then later we are going to the gym to work out! Yay!

Number 3

A family who is really close with us lost a member last night... My mom's friend lost her father... he got H1N1 in November and hasn't been healthy since and last night his body gave in. At least he is not in any pain anymore. My prayers are with his family!!

Today is kind of a blah day at work. I worked really hard this morning and got a bunch of stuff done. I should keep going and get more work done but I just feel so blah... I don't mind this job but I went to school for a reason so I wouldn't be doing a bland job and could use my education. They say they are working on it and things will change in the next several weeks but I don't know if they really will or not. I know you have to start somewhere but I am just getting stressed. I felt physically ill this morning because I got so upset and so stressed. :(

Tonight is my weigh in and I hope it goes good. I have been working out lots this week so I hope it shows! Anyway I should get back and do some more work. I wish I could have a nap, lol, I'm so tired :p

13 March 2010

2 bad things... what is number 3??

They say bad things come in three's... on Friday I found out that the triathlon i planned on doing in June had limited spaces (which was never stated anywhere) and I hadn't signed up yet as I might be heading out of the province on a trip around that time so I don't get to do my triathlon... and then Friday afternoon I had to euthanize my kitty... who I have had since as long as I can remember :'( it was very upsetting... I held on to her the whole time while they sedated her and then gave her the final shot... it was so odd, I thought it took a while and then they fell asleep but before the vet was even done giving her the shot she was limp... her head fell over and rested against me... it was so hard to do but I know it is better for her as she was in a lot of pain and I couldn't afford all the medicine and appointments to keep her healthy and out of pain... I do miss her lots though...

I guess number 3 might be learning that the really expensive shoes I bought last summer aren't good for my feet and I have to get different ones; but I good thing is I went to Foster's shoes and they let me borrow a pair that should be good for my feet so I can try them out for a bit before I buy them :)

Anyways... on Wednesday my mom and I went to see a personal trainer and she was pretty friendly... we didn't do too much on Wednesday but I'm sure we will keep building up... we worked on some step-up then running then running and biking as it was going to be geared towards the triathlon but now I don't know what to do... I do have another fitness goal which is to climb the rock wall at the science center... starting in May i think they have a class every Saturday morning for a climbing club so I am going to try and get into that too. I will also do the CIBC run for the cure this year but I am hoping to find another interesting event to go to.

Next weekend I am heading out of town for the second part of our 5-pin bowling masters tournament to make the Saskatchewan team... as of right now I am in second place and I am on the team... but we have two days and 16 more games to do so that could totally change... this morning i practiced and played 5 games in a row on my own so I was constantly going for one hour and didn't stop moving (I was very sweaty lol) i bowled two 180's, a 186, a 193, and a 203. My average for Saturday will be 186 i think so I am hitting avg which is great and should keep me up there :)

Anyways I have been craving a DQ double cheeseburger for a few days but today I wasn't craving it anymore so I am still on plan and hoping for a good weigh in next week :)

09 March 2010

Bad to Good

This morning started out bad... I didn't feel so great and I though that my weigh in tonight was going to be bad.
At lunch I did a good long hard workout and I felt sooooo gooood after it :)
but I have an issue with my foot and it hurts after 10 min of running or elliptical I'm in so much pain. I'm going to call a place tomorrow that makes special footwear to see if I can get some shoes that don't hurt my feet so when I do this triathlon I can do a lot better than if my foot hurts the whole time!!
After work a cleaned up the kitchen with my mom and prepped supper because we eat after WW so that we have a good weigh in... lol... and I cleaned and cut some celery so I can take it to work tomorrow because i really like it with peanut butter or laughing cow cheese, mmmm... it is so delicious :)
Then we went to our weigh in and I lost 1.2 since last week and hit my first 5lbs!!! I'm so excited about it... I also only need to lose 3.2 more lbs to make it to my 5% lost!!! It is exciting to be this close to a goal!!
Since I;m starting to workout more I hope my weigh in's keep going really well.
Tomorrow is our first appt. with a personal trainer and I'm pretty excited about it and scared. But i think it is good to have it on Wednesday because most Wednesday's I don't feel like working out... I don;t feel like it on Thursday either but i do bowl on Thursday so I at least get some activity in. anyway I'm off to watch the Biggest Loser for some more inspiration!! :)

08 March 2010

Busy Weekends Suck!

So this weekend was full of bad food choices... not so much bad choices but just lots of food that put me over my points. On Saturday Clinton and I ate really good for the day as we were going out for supper for our 4years :) and we went to Earls. Im sure we both went way over our points for the day but it was delicious and you can do that once and a while :)
anyway, then on sunday I had to head out of town with my bowling Combo Team and I could control breakfast/lunch/snacks for the day but supper was 'kid friendly' lol... burgers and chicken fingers and ice cream. I didn't over indulge in anything and went very very light on the sauces but I have no idea what my points were for that... Oh well... One weekend isnt the end of the world. Tomorrow is my next weigh in and Im almost at the 5lb mark. Slowly getting there :( it sucks that im moving down so slow but the good thing is im moving down. But starting this week im kicking up my exercise and in May it will get even more intense to the weight should start shedding a bit faster (I hope)

05 March 2010

TGIF

So today is my Dad's birthday so we are going out to a movie tonight where there is a lot of tempatation... lol... but since i am on WW i might dip into my extra points for the week as i do love my movie theatre nachos... lol...

I had no motivation to go to the gym today but i did get my but in gear and head over there and worked hard today... I always feel great and happy after the gym, it is just thinking about it that gets me down and makes me lazy...

We are going to Avatar tonight, Clinton and I have seen it once before but not in 3D and today we are going to see it in 3D... Im pretty excited.

Im so glad it is friday!! but i have a busy busy weekend ahead of me.
Saturday Morning I coach bowling then not much for the afternoon but Saturday night me and Clinton are going out for dinner for 4 years of being together :) <3 The actual date is March 7th (Sunday) but on Sunday I am heading 2.5hrs away to coach my bowling team in a provincial tourny. i leave at 8 am and get back at 9 pm :( but Clinton is going to maybe drive there to come cheer on my team and still see me for a bit that day :) what a sweetheart!!

Then monday back to work... bleh... although im listening to the radio at work and I am trying to win a trip for 4 to Vegas!!! It would be so exciting so who knows... lol

04 March 2010

Time to do it

Yesterday I sent in my application for a Triathlon Clinic I hope to find out soon if I made it in on time.
About a month ago I joined Weight Watchers and have lost 4.6lbs... lol... I hope my drops will start increasing as I start to work out more... This week I worked out for an hour on Monday at lunch then again on Wednesday. Last night I went bowling and I am bowling again tonight so I am getting more activity in my life... I can't wait till it starts getting nice out here so I can start going for walks/runs in the park with my boyfriend. He is awesome to work out with (kinda) because he pushes me harder than I am willing to push myself and that is something that I really need right now. Lots of days I feel motivated but some days I could just care less. I'm either really tired or I just don't feel good but I always feel 10x better once I do work out. Right now our schedules don't work with eachother so well so we don't get to work out much together but we hope that in the summer that can change.
Next Wednesday (March 10) my mom and I are going to a personal trainer so I can start training for this triathlon because the clinic doesn't start until May 17 and goes right up until the day before the race. Clinton is also excited for me and wants to help me train as well... I hope with all this support that I can do really well!!


This is me as of March 03/2010