I am still here

I am still making it through the days... found out that he moved on pretty damn fast :( we were together for almost 5 years and now he is seeing someone else.... it hurts so much that he said he still cared about me but then invited some other girl into his bed... ugh... I have since cut off all contact with him which breaks my heart but I know it needed to be done...
this is the worst thing I have ever gone through in my entire life!!!! I would never ever wish this hurt or pain on anyone... except maybe him at the moment... I could deal with the break up but why does he need to make it even worse :( fuck you think you know someone... you think your going to have a life with someone then poof they just one day stop giving a fuck about you... he acted like everything was fine and that he wanted to be with me up until the day before we broke up... even after we broke up he told me how much he cared and how he would still be there for me if I needed someone... I guess that was bullshit...
I have kinda slacked off on weight watchers for right now, I don't have an appitite at all so I am trying to just get food into me when I do eat... I havn't been working out as I am always light-headed and not feeling good due to the lack of food/water going into my body... i sleep all the time... i can't get up in the morning... I keep trying to get my life back on track but it is hard...
my days feel incomplete without talking to him... I break down at least once a day or more... suppertime and bed time are the worst as I would have supper with him everyday day and get a hug and kiss goodnight almost every night... its hard to not want that or miss that... and he obviously doesn't miss it from me as he is most likely getting it from someone else...
ahhhhh... this whole situation just sucks soooooooooooo much... i am just so worn out over this... I am just exhausted every day... and it is so hard to get through each day :( I feel like he is tainting the relationship we had and making me feel like he faked so much of it :(  I want to look back on our memories and be happy that we had them... but the way he just disregarded my feelings and his feelings and jumped into something else makes those memories so hard to look back on...

I didn't want us to be a bad memory but now I am worried that is all the last 5 years will be :(