20 September 2010

Somedays it makes me sick

Somedays it makes me sick
to think about all the shit
you gave up when you ran away
because you were too scared to stay

if you could have looked into my eyes
and told me what you decided to hide
and trusted me like you said you did
we could have had a chance kid!

Moved back into my room finally!!! still getting stuff into there but I have my bed and my room back :) and awesome fuzzy carpet! I went for a run yesterday (in the wind and cold) and I am going for one again after work today.  I am looking into taking a class with the running room to train for the half-marathon I plan to run in May and depending on how that goes I hope to do a full-marathon in fall.

I have to maintain my weight for 3 more weeks then I am a lifetime member at weight watchers :)
I still plan on losing some more but I am just working on maintaining at the moment while I am trying to get my life figured out! which is a challenge in itself!

I have few people out there who are actually trying to help me through this but I guess having a few is better than having none.  Its like most people think I should be over it already but those people must have never had their heart broken... the hurt and the pain doesn't go away over night... It hasn't even calmed down a bit but I have learned not to cry all the time but it still gets to me everyday...

I try not to talk to other people about it because it seems that no one really wants to hear it or be supportive... everyone just says whatever you'll get over it or stop thinking about it or something along those lines... I just wish that the people who I try to talk to about this would actually give me the time of day... I know no one wants to talk to that sad depressing girl so I am trying to pretend and act like im fine so people will want to spend time with me so that I don't get more sad and more depressed. Ugh, I dunno, random babbles again... lol

Anyways I am still maintaining my weight and running and eating healthy and a few people I know are thinking about joining Weight Watchers so maybe I can help someone else through it! :)