31 August 2010

Oh Boy

What a stressful night last night turned out to be.

According to another person I am taking over their life because I am continuing to do the things we did together every weekend.  I understand he is upset and that this is a difficult time for the both of us but I shouldn't have to feel bad for trying to go out and have fun with people.  Whoever I choose to go out with shouldn't matter to anyone else but me unless it causes me to get into trouble.  My life has dramatically changed so I might do things I didn't do before or see people who I didn't see before in a effort to get out there and socialize and not sit at home and cry but for some reason that is an issue.  I am sad because he is sad but I am also happy that I can go out without him and have fun and have a good night.  He made the choice to move away so I don't know... I am not trying to take over his life... We spent every day/night/weekend together and spent time with the same people so it was my life too.  I was there every second of it and just because they were his friends first doesn't mean he owns them and that I am not allowed to be friends with them... Ugh... I don't want him to be sad but I am not going to not go out and have fun.

and this is what hurts the most is that because I spent some time with these people he is saying that it means I don't care about him and am doing just fine.  I am doing better now then I was when this all went down but I am not fine.  I still think about him all the time.  I still miss him every second of everyday.

All I am trying to do is things that make me happy.  I don't know what makes me happy anymore so I am going to go hang out with anyone who is willing and I am going to have fun and I don't know I am trying to not just sit at home every night I thought that was a good plan...

On another note I have been eating :)
I didn't run yesterday because of rain but I am going today :)
I am trying to be happy :)
And when I weighed in on Saturday I set that as my goal (just because I am so stressed right now) and am now working on my 6 weeks of maintenance (or loss). :)


Tina said...

You can only do what works for you! It's impossible to please everyone but we always should take care of our needs.